this one's for all those girls about 25

seriously? it's already april. the last entry is from january... it's so hard to believe. i thought that last semester went by really quickly, but i don't know where this semester has gone. it seems like snowpocalypse was just here. but here we are, two weeks away from summer break. either way, though, these past few months have been both challenging and enlightening. it's weird when time sneaks up on you and you realize you're actually becoming an adult. most people would argue that 23 is an adult... i don't know about that one, though. haha, i know some 50 year olds who aren't even adults, so i'll refrain from classifying myself as such for now. i feel like it just hit me in the face today.

as random as it was, i was watching Entertainment Tonight, which is quite possibly one of my least favorite shows... but they were interviewing vin diesel and someone else about the most recent fast and the furious movie and then doing a flashback to the first time interview either of them had around the time of fast and the furious 1 - it was 10 years ago. i started thinking, "where was i ten years ago?" well... i was 13. in junior high. wearing pea-green corduroy overalls (no regrets, right?) forgetting it was wedgie wednesday.... and now i'm here: grad school in a big city i've come to love. a year away from the real world. engaging in meaningful community with inspiring friends. my corduroy overalls have been swapped for black chino pants and blouses for professional fridays...

i was also listening to the radio this morning in the car and martina mcbride's "this one for the girls" came on. the cheesy, yet poignant

This is for all you girls about twenty-five
In a little apartment, just trying to get by
Living on, on dreams and spaghetti-o's
Wondering where you life is gonna go

so maybe that's what set me off today? back when i was clad in the pea-green overalls, i always imagined future self to be quite different. i thought i'd be settled down, living in a house with kids. i'm sure i heard the martina mcbride song years back and thought, "25?! still wondering where my life is gonna go? not me." but now, at 23, i have my whole life ahead of me. it's so interesting to realize i am that "about twenty-five" girl, really living on dreams (i have so many, after all). i'm wondering where my life is going to go... but not in a "oh crap, my life isn't going anywhere, whatever will i amount to" kind of way. no. more in a "how am i going to pick just ONE exciting direction to go toward."

so, in the last few months, i've gone through a lot. a lot of crap. a lot of good stuff, too. anyone close to me know a lot of exciting things have been happening and i have a lot to be thankful for. i've done a lot of thinking and praying... and i've reached some sort of peace about the future. and, i guess you could say, the present. i, no doubt, waver in my faith on all of this, but overall, i'm happy. and that's exciting to say. i'm happy, i'm hopeful, and i get so pumped thinking about the possibilities for my life.

i've learned a lot about people. i've learned a lot about myself. i've learned a lot about who God is and what he does. i have a lot more to learn. but i can't wait.

sunshine, herbs, and red velvet cupcakes

this weekend came and went so quickly. time has been flying by since i've been back in dallas. it was a good weekend though, getting to spend time with friends and sleep a lot. i finally replanted all of my herbs, so hopefully this second round will be more fruitful. i also baked some red velvet cupcakes using the following recipe.

Red Velvet Cupcakes – Magnolia Bakery Recipe

3 ⅓ cups cake flour (not self-rising)

¾ cup (1 ½ sticks) unsalted butter, softened

2 ¼ cups sugar

3 large eggs, at room temperature

6 tablespoons red food coloring

3 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa

1 ½ teaspoons vanilla extract

1 ½ teaspoons salt

1 ½ cups buttermilk

1 ½ teaspoons cider vinegar

1 ½ teaspoons baking soda

Frosting: 1 pound (two 8-ounce packages) cream cheese, softened and cut into small pieces

6 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened and cut into small pieces

1 ½ teaspoons vanilla extract

5 cups sifted confectioners’ sugar

How to make it

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and lightly flour three muffin tins. Place cupcake papers in the tins.

To make the cake: In a small bowl, sift the cake flour and set aside. In a large bowl, on the medium speed of an electric mixer, cream the butter and sugar until very light and fluffy, about 5 minutes. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition.

In a small bowl, whisk together the red food coloring, cocoa, and vanilla. Add to the batter and

beat well.

In a measuring cup, stir the salt into the buttermilk. Add to the batter in three parts, alternating with the flour. With each addition, beat until the ingredients are incorporated, but do not overheat.

In a small bowl, stir together the cider vinegar and baking soda. Add to the batter and mix well. Using a rubber spatula, scrape down the batter in the bowl, making sure the ingredients are well blended and the batter is smooth.

Divide the batter among the prepared pans. Bake each tray for 20 minutes, or until a cake tester inserted in the center of the cake comes out clean. Let the cupcakes cool in the pans for 1 hour. Remove from the pans and cool completely on a wire rack.

Frosting: In a large bowl, on the medium speed of an electric mixer, beat the cream cheese and butter until smooth, about 3 minutes.

Add the vanilla and beat well.

Gradually add the sugar, 1 cup at a time, beating continuously until smooth and creamy.

Cover and refrigerate icing for 2 to 3 hours, but no longer, to thicken before using.

When the cake has cooled, spread the frosting liberally on the cupcakes.

Makes 36 cupcakes.

The end result was scrumptious! I made one double-layer cake and a dozen cupcakes. The frosting is delicious! I spent all day baking with the door to the balcony open while Tanner caught some rays and watched squirrels and puppies run around outside.

After all that, I went to Watermark with my friend Lindsay. Tonight was all about ways to get involved and volunteer throughout Dallas, so that was pretty cool. One of the opportunities was actually through Interfaith Housing Coalition which is where we were already planning on starting to volunteer next Wednesday!

As another week is about to start, I'm still thinking about Karl with fond memories and learning to deal with it all. It's been a slow, painful, seemingly-endless process to get to the point I am today, but there are rays of hope which point me toward tomorrow. Little moments of joy when I can hear his laugh, smell his cologne, and see he beautiful face. I still miss him so much. I know I always will.

tell the ones you love that you love them

a friend who is dear to my heart passed away last night unexpectedly and way too early. it leaves me wishing i'd called him more, gone out of my way to see how he was doing more... i can't change back the clock, i can't do any of this. but i appreciate the value of a friend even more now. it's cliche to say to live every day as your last. but do it. don't have regrets. tell the ones you care about that you do so. i miss him so much. he never grasped the magnitude of the love everyone had for him.

someday soon, we all will be together

Christmas is approaching :) - hopped in my car this morning... and lo and behold, frost on my windshield!

what makes studying for finals more bearable?....

Christmas music. Enough said. Thank you Pandora, Christmas Radio.

cold colds.

seasons.

Thanks to Glen Brann's facebook status,

"Live each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each."

since wednseday

mom came in town to help nurse me back to help. she's always been there for me :) add thatto the list of things (and people) i'm thankful for.

we started off the day with breakfast at another broken egg - lafitte's tortilla, coffee, and donut beignets.

then, after an unsuccessful shopping trip it was off to school to take a quiz on a dementia lecture. i swung by sprinkles cupcakes on the way home and with mom as my chauffeur, we made it back to cypress that evening.

it was fun getting to watch the baker hughes guys play football and my knee got progressively better over the weekend - by friday, i found out it isn't fractured, but just bruised and i can run as soon as it feels better/doesn't hurt to do so! :) GREAT news.

the weekend was pretty relaxing; it feels weird to be back in dallas - no tanner, no practicum. i leave for long island the day after tomorrow, which is exciting!

on saturday, will and i ventured out to the Via Colori chalk street painting festival sponsored by the Houston Center for Hearing and Speech (how cool this combined my two interests - art and speech path!) check out their HUGE mural in progress below: